This last week was super difficult, and super amazing. I've learned already that those two tend to go hand in hand. My dad always says, "If you're not bleeding, sweating, or both, it's not work." I full-heartedly agree. I've never spiritually bled or sweated so much in my life. 

I've taken some time this last week to think about myself. And when I say that I don't mean in a selfish way, but rather, I've been so focused on other people as the reason why I've come on a mission, and failed to focus enough on myself as the other reason I've come. I think about serving others and forgetting myself and going to work and things like that, which are all definitely good and important, and I also forget sometimes that my most important convert is going to be myself. I mean, I'm already converted in so many ways, but I've come to the realization that I, myself, am not entirely and completely converted to the Gospel. I suppose very few people are, and it's an extremely tough thing to do. To mentally and physically and spiritually make the decision that you're going to do everything and anything God asks of you is a big decision.

But, it's the only intelligent decision.

I've written out some personal goals as to what I, for myself, want to accomplish in these the next twenty one months or so. During this last Zone Conference the Assistants asked us to do something similar to that. But they told us that they didn't want us to write out what we would do, but rather, what we would become. Setting aside mission, career, family, future, any and all of that, and think only about me, myself. What attributes do I want to have? When people think of me, what do I want them to say?

Ultimately it comes down to developing Christlike Attributes one-by-one, and all of them all at the same time. It's so difficult :) 

But when things get difficult, I just think about that sentence, "It's the only intelligent decision." God either exists, or He doesn't. There is either a life after this, or there's not. We can talk about all of the gray stuff in between and confuse ourselves, but, ultimately, God works with black and white. It is or it isn't. And, supposing God exists and all of the things I've been taught are true, then, if I am faithful and do all that I can, I will receive blessings which cannot be comprehended. I will live for eternity and splendor and bliss and happiness and joy with those I love. 

When I think about that, it just becomes so simple and I just laugh at how silly it is that I struggled or doubted before. It's the only intelligent decision. And I've made it. And I'm sticking by it.

But enough about me, myself, and I. With New Years coming up fast things are getting really busy for everyone and our teaching pool is shrinking. We have plenty of investigators to work with, but most of them are super busy. I've been praying hard that they will continue to have the desire to learn and to meet with us even after the New Year. 

But, at the moment, we have two very amazing investigators. One is A-Cheung. He's super cool and we've been working with him for awhile. He's about this ----><---- close to baptism right now. He says that he believes this church is true, that it is what god wants for him, and that he wants to be baptized. Previously he had some family opposition, but that got squared away and now the only thing that he is worried about is a good friend of his who happens to be a very devout preacher from another church. I can tell he's a little nervous about talking to him, and so we've just tried to take it slow and encourage him. And of course, lots of prayers.

The other one is Patrick, who has now been taught for two years. Kind of crazy. He's a very nice guy, although a bit different. In the past he's been the butt of a lot of jokes, and even made it on T.V. and into magazines. He was named the Couch Potato of the year a few years back, and it's been a hard struggle for him. He's become a little closed off because of it, and at times it's hard to teach him and get him to really learn because he's so focused on saying what he thinks you want to hear. But we had an amazing lesson this last week where we showed pictures of Christ, didn't say anything, and had him share his thoughts and his feelings. He let out some emotions, shed a few tears, and in the end it was really good for him. I'm very grateful for this opportunity that we have to work with such a cool guy, and help him in his life.

This opportunity to serve a mission is beyond anything I had thought of or hoped for. As another missionary friend of mine said recently, "Being a missionary is legendary!" I plan to never forget that.

An awesome miracle that happened; Last week we met a guy in Mei Foo. He was super chill and super interested and that in itself was a miracle. We talked about prayer, than told him that next time we would share a special message, and gave him a Restoration pamphlet. We met with him this last Wednesday to give him a tour of the church and have a fast "get to know you" lesson. He informed us that he had read the pamphlet four times, just to make sure he understood it. That it all makes perfect sense, and that he wants to read the Book of Mormon, find out more, and if it continues to make sense, he'll get baptized.

Wait, what..........

Elder Barker says it's the first time he's ever met anyone so kahnlihk, so diligent in wanting to learn the truth. It's pretty sweet, and definitely a blessing I don't feel we deserve. But, who's to complain? :D

You guys are all so awesome and I can't wait to spend some time with you all!

Well, I can't send pictures this week, which means the subject for the main email will make no sense, but, nothing I can do about it.

The librarian gave my computer to someone else for no reason, so I moved to a vacant one, then that one got taken, and then this computer doesn't like me and says that I'm not cool enough to send pictures, so...yah, next week :(